This post goes out to everyone whose life has turned out differently then they’d hoped. Those people who were on a track that seemed to stretch into eternity with no change in sight, and then all of the sudden, PLOT TWIST!

Well, not really all the sudden. What’s going on in my life right now has taken years to happen and years to come to fruition. Years for things to be cried over, agonized over, worked over, prayed over, and decided on. Years for things that needed to break to break. Years for things that needed to heal to be healed. Years to hand my life over to God, and know He’ll take good care of it. Better care than I have in the past. Better care than others have, that’s for darn sure.

One of the more painful plot twists lately has to do with my dreams, my dreams of owning my own business. An art studio where I could be surrounded by beauty and have space to create, an art studio where I could teach others to be creative and find joy in their creations, an art studio that would allow me to be in charge of my own schedule and be home with my boys.

God has handed me a solution to some of my worries. The solution is a good job with a good company that will provide a decent wage, benefits, and an outlet for creativity. This is a great solution. I am very grateful for it. And so, as of right now, my art studio is on hold. Will I ever be able to have classes again? I sure hope so. Will I have any energy left to make my own art? I sure hope so. There are lots of unknowns and lots of things to mourn the loss of.

The things I will mourn? Feeling like I’m trading in my dreams for a dental plan. Putting my kids in the care of someone else. The energy that might have been used to be a better mom and a better artist. Loss of control over my schedule. Inability to be there for school events and when my kids come home from school. Feeling like I’m letting my art students down.  Five years of working hard to build a business and an art career that was just starting to take off. I may have to have a little funeral for these dreams.

New dreams are taking their place. Dreams of self-sufficiency and self-respect. Dreams of building new friendships and relationships. Dreams of being reminded how many good people there in the world and how willing they are to help out. Dreams of new opportunities and the growth that comes from them. Dreams of healing, wholeness, and peace.

What a start you’re out to, 2016! Can’t wait to see where you take me.