Does porn kill love? What's the big deal, right? I mean, if adults want to look at pictures of naked people being sexy, then they should be able to, right? What's the big deal? Why the heck does Kirsten keep talking about this and posting about it on her Facebook page? It makes me feel so uncomfortable/angry/guilty/judged. Maybe I'll block her. Well, I'll tell you.


Today is Fight the New Drug's Rep the Movement Day. In fact, they have designated the whole month of November as "Nopornovember", kind of a mouthful. Have you seen their shirts around? They say "Porn Kills Love". Ever wondered why they would choose that as their motto? If you'd asked me that about eight years ago I would have rolled my eyes and ho-hummed some comment about people needing to stay out of other people's bedrooms. That's before I, as they say, "got woke" to the damage that had been inflicted in my own life by pornography. Pornography, what it represents, the dehumanizing, spirit squishing, body-critical, unrealistic, profit driven, lust fueled awfulness of it has shadowed most of my life. I'd like to give you two very small snapshots of times when un-looked for, un-sought after porn entered my life and killed something inside of me.

One.
I'm between ten and twelve years old. A large group of kids and I were tearing around town, enjoying the freedom that seems to have been lost to kids in these days. About three blocks from my house was a field with a irrigation ditch and a spring surrounded by cattails. An amazing natural playground now covered by a trailer park. There it was, laying on the muddy ground. A Playboy magazine. I don't remember how many kids looked. I don't remember what was said or who left first, or if anyone took any of those pages. In fact, I only remembered this after a few months of intensive therapy. Yep. That happens. Something damages you so badly that your brain "forgets" it to protect yourself.
Anyway, I looked. And then I looked again. And those things stayed in my little girl, growing into a young woman brain and never left. And those pictures and those words killed something in me. They killed my innocence. They killed what should have been a natural, slow awakening of the idea of being an adult female and the idea of what sex was. The damage that was inflicted on the girl that I used to be is incalculable. I now label it as child abuse. But the only person to blame is the porn industry.

Two.
I'm babysitting for a family friend. I'm between 16 and 18 years old. It's late and the kids have been put to bed. I'm bored. There's a book on the table. I pick it up and start to read. It's not a normal book. It's what they try to kindly call an "erotic novel". I know it's wrong, but I can't put it down. It's like a train wreck. But instead of watching lives being lost, I'm inside myself watching my young girl romantic dreams be murdered. So this is what it's supposed to be like? This is what people to do and with each other? This is love? This book is in a good persons' house. This person is a member of my church and they read this? This must be okay? Something has been killed inside of me.


There's more. I don't want to talk about the more.


I just wanted to try and show that pornography, once it's let out into the world, doesn't discriminate who it damages. It is an equal opportunity exploiter. Ten years old? Fair game. LDS bishop, fair game. Housewife? Fair game. Captain of the football team? Fair game. Vulnerable survivor of child sexual abuse? Fair game. The more broken people the porn industry can produce, the more potential participants it creates. It is a never ending downward spiral. Unless someone says "NO. I won't participate in that". Unless parents take the time to teach their kids what to do when they see it. Did you know that the average age of exposure to pornography drops every year? I think it's down to 8 now. 8! And what kids see now is not what I saw when I was a kid. Now it's graphic and often very violent live  and unlimited sex acts at the tip of their fingers through the internet on their phones. Is that really the way you want your kids to learn about sex? What will die in them if their first exposure and sexual awakening is a gang bang?

What was your first brush with pornography? How did it effect you? What did it kill inside of you and how will you fight to get it back?

So, yea. I won't shut up about it. Porn does kill love. It kills a lot of stuff. But love is the most important. It is my opinion that love is the ultimate goal of God and the Universe. So if the the powers of evil can use something as easily accessed and enticing as pornography to kill the roots of love then where does that leave us? It leaves us with the responsibility to educate ourselves and our kids about the difference between love and lust.  It leaves us with the responsibility to NOT financially support any business that makes money off the exploiting of our fellow human beings. It leaves us with the responsibility to fight for love. If we can't even say the word, how can we fight the evil? So I'll keep wearing my shirt and posting on Facebook. And I'll hope you do the same all year. Not just on Rep the Movement Day, but all year long, forever.

Here's some additional sites where you can find education and support in the fight for love.

Educate Empower Kids
National Center on Sex Exploitation

These sites, along with Fight the New Drug can point you towards many more resources.