Some thoughts on this Palm Sunday 2019

Today the Christian world commemorates the entering of Jesus into Jerusalem. In fulfillment of prophecy, Jesus entered Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, was hailed as a king, and honored with the laying of palm fronds along his path.

Now, Jesus wasn't dumb. He knew what was really coming. He didn't get caught up in the adulation. He didn't tally up the palm fronds and equate the number to his self worth. He knew what his worth was. He was the Son of God, ...

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We cannot change what we do not acknowledge. I am by no means an expert on race or history. I am just someone who didn’t know what I didn’t know until I needed to know it. Because it is my honor to be the mother of children of a different race than mine, placed into my hands by their first-mothers and through our open adoption arrangement, it is my privilege to have my eyes are opened on a daily basis. When I share things about race, it’s not out of a desire to be performative, to shame...

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https://www.thespectrum.com/videos/news/2019/07/31/st-george-local-artist-grocery-shopping-more-fun/1874674001/

Here's a little interview I did with The Spectrum News about my job making signs for Harmons and my upcoming shows.
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Broken family.

I’ve heard this phrase slung around since I was a kid. It was always said in hushed and judging  tones. “Well, no wonder that happened. She comes from a broken home.” “What can you expect? He comes from a broken family.” But nobody ever explained why the family was broken, who broke it and how they broke it. There was just this horrible feeling of un-redeemability that surrounded the whole idea along with the idea that any bad thing that happened could and should be ...

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I've spent the last four years working hard to find this girl again. This spunky, spitfire who loved with everything in her, raised her chin and eyebrows in the face of the haters and was glad to take a backhanded comment by a tired parent ( "Go jump in the mud, Kiki!") and make it into an adventure in joy.


I needed to understand her, help her, and make peace with her. And I needed her help as well. To reclaim my joy, my spontaneity, my desire to live as my soul was mad...
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Soooooo, it’s been a little crazy. There’s been some stuff. There’s been some things.

You know what the problem is with being committed to growth and awareness? That the universe takes you at your word and provides the opportunities to test your commitment to those goals. You know, growth opportunities.

Sometimes those growth opportunities strip you to the very core of yourself. For me, this last week has laid bare all my most vulnerable and tender layers, brought up deep past trauma...

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Pondering Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Last night I went to The Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean with my son's beautiful birth mom. It's been a difficult year for both of us for different reasons and the music and message in this performance touched us both. As in, we were a blubbering, snotty mess. 

One song in particular, Mary Let Her Hold Her Baby, is particularly touching to those of us...
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Today pondering Matthew 25:36 "I was in prison and ye came unto me."

Our Father in Heaven never meant for this life to be a prison to us, but sometimes the things we go through build up chains and walls around our hearts that keep us from moving towards Him. This last year I've been doing a lot of work on freeing myself from those chains, so I can become what He wants me to be.

A big portion of that work has been reclaiming my "inner child" and settings straight believes that had been twisted ...

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Today, pondering what it means to #lighttheworld . 

I didn't start out doing these post with the intention of doing one every day. I know myself too well. And I know how busy life can get for me. but I've missed lots of beautiful scriptures this last week that mean a lot to me. "I was a stranger and you took me in. Blessed are they that mourn. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Blessed are the merciful. I was naked and you c...
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Pondering John 5:39 "search the scriptures; for in them you think you have eternal life." This is truth in my life. God speaks to me through the scriptures. The messages are customer tailored for every circumstance of my life. 

The fact that God can use the voice of people long gone to speak to my soul is a miracle to me. He can take things that in context mean something very obvious and make them pertain to my life as if they were written about and for me personally. 

This is the scripture fro...
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Pondering Matthew 7:1 today. "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

I think the hang up here is the word judge. What does it mean to judge somebody? I mean, we all need to have judgement in our lives, right? We need to know if something is a good idea or bad idea, should I date this guy or not, is this a sound financial decision or not, that kind of stuff. So when we are told not to judge it makes us kind of grimace a little bit. But what Jesus is talking about here is the kind of judgment where...

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Pondering the commandment to honor your father and mother. 
I'm thinking about all the times I've felt like I've failed my kids, broke my kids, screwed up my kids. And that's probably a lot. Like, we have a jar where I put money when I swear. Like, I have a therapy fund for my kids. But never did I ever start out with the intention to be a crappy mom. And hopefully the good outweighs the negative in the end. 
Learning this about myself has helped me be more free to honor my own mom and dad. My ...
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Pondering Matthew 25:35 today. “For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:” Today I ponder it not in the context of physical nourishment, but in the context of spiritual and emotional nourishment. I'm thinking about all the times when people in my life, and even complete strangers have filled an empty part of me with their kindness and compassion. The ability to be able to sit with someone in their sadness or their...
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Pondering Matthew 10:8 today.
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking about being a small child and how, as a small child, you freely receive all that life has to offer to you. You take in the love and care that is directed towards you without thinking about it. It is there, you need it, you take it. It's not until you are a bit older that you begin to question those things. Do I deserve this gift? Does the person giving it want something in return that I don't want to give back? I'm thinking o...
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Does porn kill love? What's the big deal, right? I mean, if adults want to look at pictures of naked people being sexy, then they should be able to, right? What's the big deal? Why the heck does Kirsten keep talking about this and posting about it on her Facebook page? It makes me feel so uncomfortable/angry/guilty/judged. Maybe I'll block her. Well, I'll tell you.


Today is Fight the New Drug's Rep the Movement Day. In fact, they have designated the whole month of November as "Nopornovember", ...
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Sometimes I want to write about something, but so does everyone else, so I don’t, but then it comes back to me so many times that I do it anyway.

Lots of people, women in particular, have written about how the movie Wonder Woman affected them. They’ve written about female empowerment from a thousand different angles. It was great. I loved the articles and the discussions surrounding them.

The first time I saw Wonder Woman, I was in the theatre with a group of real life Wonder Women; wom...

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Choose Your Own Adventure. Does anyone remember these books?

“You're The Star! 40 Thrilling Endings!

Will You Become Trapped In Time?

You are hiking in Snake Canyon when you find yourself lost in the strange, dimly lit Cave of Time.  Gradually you can make out two passageways. One curve downward to the right; the other leads upward to the left. It occurs to you that the one leading down may go to the past and the one leading up may go to the future. Which way will you choose?

If you tak...

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Hang with me here. I’m going to try and bring this all together. Also, in the interest of full disclosure…I love Jesus, but sometimes I swear.

The D-word. Divorce. I’ve done twice. The first time I did it because I was left with no choice. I never thought I’d do it again, but I did. It was horrible, horrible both times. The second time it was more of a choice, but a choice I agonized and prayed over for a long time.  Both times it simultaneously killed me and set me free. It killed m...

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I had, errrr, I mean, got to give a talk in my new  LDS church ward today. It was the shortest talk ever, being cut down by about 8 minutes as I sat there watching the time tick, tick, tick away after being scheduled to be the concluding speaker at the homecoming talk of a Sister Missionary (why do they do that?!). But I think it may have made the talk stronger. It certainly was short and to the point. And, like, BAM! Sister Beitler's in the house. Lol. Anyway. I had some requests to have a c...

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You know how everyone is choosing a word that will be the theme for their year? I think I’ve found mine. I wanted it to be something like “JOY” or “HOPE” but instead I think it will be “CODDIWOMPLE”. Coddiwomple means to travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination.I feel like I'm being very purposeful, but the exact destination seems to elude me.

This is why Coddiwomple is my word for 2017.

I’ve been looking for a rental for about a month now. I started on the ...

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I sit here on Christmas morning alone. Lots of people have asked me if it will be hard to not have my kids on Christmas, did I need anything, did I want to come over. I am so grateful for their kindness but I’m okay. I don’t feel alone. I’m spending the day with my Savior. First times are always hard. Change is always hard. Bringing fourth new traditions and finding joy in sorrow is something I am getting better at. Sometimes people will see that I’ve been crying and they might think ...

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I wake up this Sunday morning on my day off at 5:00 am. Ugh. But I’m rested and I’ve learned that when waking that early it’s best to get up and do something, starting with a talk with God, because if I lay there it inevitably turns into a talk with Satan, and ain’t nobody got time for that.

 

I get a drink of water and hop in the shower. I cry a little, because showers are good for that, as I talk to God about some of my worries, thank Him for His help this last hard week, enjoy the ...

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This post goes out to everyone whose life has turned out differently then they’d hoped. Those people who were on a track that seemed to stretch into eternity with no change in sight, and then all of the sudden, PLOT TWIST!

Well, not really all the sudden. What’s going on in my life right now has taken years to happen and years to come to fruition. Years for things to be cried over, agonized over, worked over, prayed over, and decided on. Years for things that needed to break to break. Ye...

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Love him or hate him, not many teachers have worked as hard for the students of Southern Utah as Mr. Holt. Ferron Holt has been a music educator and teacher for 37 years; first at Delta High School, then in the Washington County School District, and has been a member of the Utah Music Educators Association since 1976. In that time it is estimated that he has taught upwards of 10,000 students the joys of music and hard work. How do I know how hard Mr. Holt has worked during the years of his te...

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So facebook is a big time suck for me. I love reading about how everyone’s life is going and seeing pictures of their lives.  I have smart, thoughtful, diverse friends, and I enjoy hearing their opinions and experiences.  I have funny friends and I like to laugh.

This last week, a friend tuned me into a facebook app that has helped me waste about 5 hours of my life. It takes your old status updates and uses them to generate new status updates for you. I generally consider myself a pretty ...

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Well, apparently November 5th is Hug-A-Chicken Day. Do we really need a day for that? I hug my chickens every day. My ladies bring to so much to my life. They provide me with humor, relaxation, inspiration and food every day, so I hug them every day. 
I told myself I'd do a painting for Hug-A-Chicken Day and take shots of it's progress to share with the rest of my chicken loving friends. When I saw this photo of an internet friend's daughter, I wanted to paint it. With her permission, of cours...
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You know the story of Chicken Little, and how, when an acorn hits him on the head, he decides the sky is falling and gets everyone all freaked out? Chickens really are like that. If one of my ladies decides that something is bothering her, she clucks and postures until the whole flock is freaking out, even if nothing is really happening. It's pretty funny to watch. Aren't you glad you're not a chicken?
 
Then again, it seems that the sky is always falling for someone, somewhere. There is always...
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I love Thanksgiving. It's all about the best things in life--family, food, and gratitude.
What's the best thing about Thanksgiving in Southern Utah? Dixie Salad.
This is just a small post to clarify a few things.

 What is Dixie Salad? Apples, pomegranates, raisins, walnuts,and whipped cream. AND THAT IS ALL.

 If you add anything else it is just a fruit salad with pomegranates. I just needed to say that.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


 


 

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I love dressing up. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert who wishes she was an extrovert, maybe it's because I'm an artist and love creating the costumes, maybe it's because my BFF was a drama freak who grew up to be a costume designer, who knows. Who knows?
  Making the costumes is probably my favorite part. It's gotten even more fun for me since I married a someone who is a straight-laced, by the numbers kind of guy all year round, but on Halloween if I say, "Your costume involves tights", he...
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Have you noticed America is practically painting itself pink? That's right, it's October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I don't need an presidential decree to help me pay attention this year. In fact, I'm considering all the hoopla one giant party for my mom, who just finished up a long ten months of treatment for breast cancer.
I've talked about my feelings for her and how brave she's been in an earlier post "What Makes A Woman" so I won't go in to that again. I'd really like to do a more se...
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Something I hear a lot, “Sooooo, what’s up with your thing about chickens?”

Hey, don’t get me started! A family pet that produces healthy food, provides relaxation, good work ethic, amusement, artistic inspiration and even affection. That’s my ladies, my chickens.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ...

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Someone on Facebook made a snarky comment the other week about all the drama that has occurred in my life lately and how I kept posting about it, and how they were a little sick of hearing about it all. My first thought was hey sunshine, no one is sicker of the drama then the person it is happening to. Then I thought of those people, you know you have some too, those who are forever complaining, forever a victim, seem to not really want to get better. Was I being one of those? Gosh, I hope no...

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My blog is not much of a real blog. I’m not signed up with one of the cool blogging sights, I don’t have any advertisements, and I don’t even have a comment thingy besides facebook link. I do it as a place to share thoughts with friends and anyone who cares to know more about me, why I act the way I do, why I think the way I do, why I paint what I do.

I’ve been told that to have a successful blog you need lots of followers, you need to post at least once a week, you need to create a...

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I’ve been surrounded by music my whole life. My dad is a band teacher and a piano tuner, my grandpa wrote music, played the guitar and harmonica Dylan style before there was a Dylan. The highlight of every Christmas Eve was the family talent show and sing-along. All of this naturally led me to become….an artist. Right, I know. But you have to understand, as much as I love music, I also have a pretty serious problem with performance anxiety. Piano lessons were fine, but since I never figur...

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I’ve been here before. When I woke up in the ICU after having my son, Nathan, and found out that I no longer had a uterus I went through a long process of dealing with the fact that my reproductive powers were no longer under my control. And, hey, if you don’t have a uterus any more, well, you think about what it means to be a woman.

This brings up the question; who decides what it means to be a woman? Society and my religious views have very divergent thoughts on what it means to be a...

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I used to be a writer. I kept a journal, I wrote poems, I filled notebooks with thoughts, dreams, and rants. And then I stopped. 

I think life just got to be a little bit too much. Things became too hard to write about, it took too much energy to translate the feeling into words, and I just stopped. 

Every so often I'll be sharing some bit of my life with a friend and they'll say, "Kirsten, you should write a book about that." I'm still not keeping a journal any more, and I often regret that. A...
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